Reasoning about being: The God I'm not!
…there are a lot of things I am, a lot of things I could be, and being God isn't one.
I have had a lot of questions which are best not answered- 'If I am an image of God, and someone from China is too, why don't we look alike?' 'Who created God?'
As a student of science, I've been taught of the earth being a spherical ball and man's seemingly inevitable evolution from apes. Well, it's been a long time from those ape years don't you think?
I have heard the detailed process of how a sperm out of thousand others fertilizes an egg and how a baby is formed. Heck; I could even draw you the cycle if the need arises. Yet, I'm yet to find a reasonable explanation to how the bone gets formed or how it takes its shape.
Times and times again as a young child I was taken to church. The atmosphere gave me a sense of belonging. Going to church pleased me. In retrospect, I doubt if I ever fully understood what the pastor and children's teacher hammered on in their explanation of who God is, why His Son should be accepted and so on. They spoke of a man who couldn't be seen, a man bigger than all mountains combined, whose breathe was fire when angered and who strikes as the lightning, but is yet tender as a dove. They spoke of greatly surreal things and contradictory to what I could see or perceive. I tried not to think much of it: Church made me happy and that was it.
As I grew, I came to understand the need to believe in a greater authority as most things just didn't make sense and oh yeah; I believed because 'He' worked for me. A lot of questions; 'hows' and 'whys' to which I've got no answer. One thing I'm certain of; someone, somewhere controls these things.
I am a firm believer in the supremacy of some other being and I believe things just don't come to be. And no matter how science explains evolution: Mans' gradual 'upgrade' to becoming who he is today, philosophy tries to disregard these beliefs with reasons; I do not agree and with reasons too. I began to understand why there are so many beliefs and religious practices, and all to one sole aim: The person of an higher 'calling' than we are.
I get mad at him a lot of times. I get really angry, pissed, worried and very frustrated. I try to understand why despite my belief, some things don't go according to plan, and why I fail even after so much hard work. I try to understand why He would allow a young person's death while an old person somewhere daily prays for death to call.
I get angry because He allows so much pain, sickness etc. I get mad at the thought of him allowing love to go soar after all He's an ever loving father, or why He would allow children become orphans. I fail to understand why He allows 'corrupt' prosper and a 'believer' lacks. I feel his judgement is too slow and his karma isn't much of a suffering as I would love it to be.
But in all of this, I have decided that come what life throws; lemons or lemonades, it doesn't change His being. I have come to the realization that I do not believe in him because a certain religious organization 'pleads' I do, or the greater part of the society believes I've got to place my hope in a greater authority.
I have come to believe because He worked for me and in spite of it all; there are a lot of things I am, a lot of things I could be, and being God isn't one. It's too much work, too much stress, too much patience: too much of a lot of things I am not. 'I KNOW THERE IS ONLY ONE UNIVERSAL JUDGE, AND I'M NOT HIM.'
Written by Christiana Osun.
Christiana is a lover of words. She's not just a reader, she's also a writer. She's sarcastic, fun loving, and a jack and master of most things creative. She has her website underway, so watch out.
Instagram handle: _themillenniallady_ Facebook: OSUN Christiana Oluwadamilola Email: email@example.com